This Is the Life (With Dogs)

Originally published on www.clearasmud.blog on June 17, 2022.

From the moment we brought our dogs home, there have been so many questions:

• Why did you get dogs?

• Are they a lot to manage?

• Is it harder than you expected?

• Do your kids like them?

• What were you thinking?

You get the idea :). Hopefully, this will be the tell-all you’re looking for, and I do a good job answering all your burning questions.

We started talking about getting a dog about four years ago. Our son Menny was struggling with significant behavioral challenges, and one of many ideas we considered was getting a dog, which we felt could help. My husband and I did not grow up with pets, so it was a stretch for us, but we started warming to the idea. We put down a deposit for an Aussiedoodle about three years ago, but as it got closer to the time and we started learning about the actualities of a puppy and its training, we backed out. The kids were a lot younger, life was a lot, and when I thought about adding a puppy to the mix, I would panic. The anxiety around the “puppy” was a clear sign that it wasn’t the right thing to do at the time.

Bozeman is a literal dog paradise. Most people have at least one dog, and dogs have more rights than people around here. Only sorta kidding :). We consulted with a lot of friends, and we decided that if we were to get a dog, it would need to be an adult dog. Finding a stable adult dog isn’t easy. We had our eyes and ears open, but nothing ever panned out. As time passed, the thought of ever getting a dog seemed to become a distant memory.

This past March, we got a call from a friend of ours, Pam. She knew of two Goldendoodles that needed a home. A woman in town had lost her husband suddenly, and she was moving out of state and couldn’t take her eight-year-old dogs with her. Pam knew that we had been looking and wanted to know if we were interested. It came out of left field for us. Like I said, we kinda gave up on the idea. It sounded exciting and scary—especially because these dogs couldn’t be separated, so it was two or none. A part of me wanted to pretend that I never heard of these dogs—like life was complicated enough—but I couldn’t get it out of my head. I really felt like G-d puts things in your path at exactly the right time. It was hard to deny. The shul moved out of our house after fourteen years. The mudroom was ready. Dogs would not have been a possibility without that space. When I reflect, I’m like, “Of course nothing panned out before.” Not sure why I still question G-d’s plan sometimes. We can delve into that another time.

We took our time visiting the dogs over a six-week period. Obviously, we fell in love with them, and a few days after Passover, we brought them home.

Now that Peety and Ezzy have been with us for a few months, here are my thoughts so far:

• Dogs are amazing.

• Dogs are a pain.

• The kids love them.

• Rehoming dogs is very similar to getting puppies.

• I need to let go of perfection.

• I learn something new every day.

• I was totally wrong about which of the kids it would impact the most.

• I do not like the combination of dogs and rain.

• I love them.

• Kids and dogs go together like cookies and milk.

• Two dogs = lots of poop.

In conclusion: Some days, getting dogs is the best decision we ever made, and some days it’s the worst decision we ever made. Guess what? Both sentiments coexist happily. How many of us feel this way about our kids? I know—scandalous, lol. Don’t worry, I am not comparing dogs to kids; I just want to propose the idea that these contradictions are everywhere in our lives. It makes sense. It’s normal. Feeling them doesn’t make you a bad person, just human. When the dogs drive me crazy, it doesn’t mean I regret my decision—it just means I’m having a hard day, and yup, there are plenty of those.

Are there many people who don’t understand why we do the things we do or make the decisions we make? Yes! Plenty! Are we the recipients of comments and “jokes?” Absolutely! It’s okay. I am used to it and even understand it. Many choices I have made for our family are different and make some people uncomfortable.

When I watch my kids develop their relationship with these furry creatures, it melts my heart. When I see them take on responsibilities and care for others, I’m filled with a sense of accomplishment. For me, that’s worth it—at least while I write this :).

I’m proud of us. This was so beyond our comfort zone; this is beyond our comfort zone. Guess what? That’s where the magic happens. While I am not advocating for everyone to bring dogs into their lives, I am absolutely advocating for you to do something that scares the heck out of you—and wait for the magic. It’s coming!

With love,

Chavie