I remember almost exactly a year ago, sitting on a plane, gathering my thoughts before announcing the launch of Totally Unexpected!—my new podcast and blog. And here I am, one year later, on another plane, reflecting on this past year and gathering my thoughts again. Somewhere along the way, I started to appreciate writing while flying. I used to hate it—look at me growing up :).
Ok, ready or not, here goes:
I didn’t think it was possible, but starting Totally Unexpected! has pushed me out of my comfort zone more than I ever imagined. I thought I had mastered being uncomfortable, but it turns out that’s not really a thing :). There’s always more. Over time, I’ve come to realize that nothing is ever just one thing. Everything we experience is layered and complex. Even the most joyous times come with other emotions—nostalgia, sadness, curiosity, even fear.
The podcast has felt like sharing a deeper part of myself with you. I’m used to being vulnerable, I’m familiar with sharing my story, but this—this is me. Not just my experiences or anecdotes, but me showing up in all my imperfections, figuring things out as I go. Showing up even with the fear of taking up too much space, and with the inner voices whispering, “Who do you think you are?” or “Another podcast? Really?”
But you know what? I love it. I love talking to people who have so much to share. I love hearing the twists and turns, the unexpected moments. I love learning, thinking, and pushing my boundaries. I love sharing my own experiences when they connect to someone else’s story. I love how much I’ve stretched and expanded. And deep down, I know this is part of my purpose.
Everyone is put in this world to bring something no one else can. When I say everyone, yes, I mean you too. G-d gave me a unique set of circumstances, a life story, and a resilience that aren’t meant to be kept to myself. Whatever gifts we’re given are chosen for us. We can dismiss them, or we can embrace them, thank Hashem for them, and use them.
This kind of talk still makes me uncomfortable. Every time I feel discouraged—when growth isn’t fast or viral enough in a world that rewards instant success—I have to admit it’s my ego talking. Who doesn’t crave that sweet gratification?
But I’m an acquired-taste kind of gal. I’m here to make you think, to challenge your status quo just a little, to push your boundaries, and also to stand in your corner and remind you that you aren’t alone. I want to cheer you on when you think you can’t keep going. We have each other in this sometimes scary, confusing, and beautiful world.
I’m not going to make my podcast shorter—you can handle it. I’m not going to stop sharing my own thoughts and feelings—it’s a conversation, not just an interview. And I’m not going to keep wondering whether I’m meant to do this—I know I am. I’m going to double down on what I know how to do, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride.
I don’t believe everyone needs to share the way I do. The longer I live, the more I see how many different ways there are to show up in this world. No one way is better than another. But please—find yours. It won’t be easy, and there will be twists and turns, but when you find it, you’ll know.
Holy cow, all that just poured out of me. I’m not going to overthink it. I’ll share it even though it’s scary—because that’s what this is all about.
Thank you, Hashem, for the life You’ve given me. Even when I don’t understand it, I trust that You know what’s best. Thank you, Rebbe, for showing me so clearly how to show up in this world. Thank you to my husband for supporting my harebrained ideas, for believing in me when I doubt myself, and for always reminding me what matters most. Thank you to my producer Elie and his team—you make Totally Unexpected! what it is, and I’m so grateful. Don’t think for a second I do this alone.
I can’t believe it’s been a year—we’re just getting started! I look forward to whatever’s ahead, even the unexpected and challenging moments. And finally, thank you to all of you—for giving me a chance, for being patient while I grow, for simply being here. I’m pretty sure I receive far more than I give.
Love,
Chavie
P.S. It has been an intense week for America. I don’t have poetic words or wisdom to offer. We’re being asked to hold so much pain and still keep living through it. I don’t know how—but I know we must. We’re all doing our best. I see you.