One Tired Mama

I don’t have any advice to give.

It’s after the holidays, and my brain is fried. It's amazing how much mental work the holidays take. Like, I expect the physical work, but the mental capacity required never ceases to amaze me.

So, I’m just going to write about what’s been on my mind throughout the holidays, and even more so now that it’s over.

Parenting. I know, I know, not very original. But alas, here we are. It is really quite remarkable how much I think about this, and I bet many of you can relate.

Having the kids home for so many days over so many holidays has left me feeling very challenged, searching for methods, answers, and solutions. You’d think I’d know better by now, but I seem to be a slow learner in this regard. I had multiple books on attachment theory and adoption delivered to my house, even though I knew that I probably wouldn’t find any answers in them. The answers are in me, bla bla bla.

I reject that! Someone just please tell me what to do! My brain is begging and hoping for guidance, a clear path. I just want to know that what I’m doing is good. I can handle hard if I know that I’m going in the right direction.

I feel like my circumstances are so unique that nobody can relate, and yes, a big chunk of the population cannot. But I also know that I’m not alone. It just feels that way.

Here are the things I know:

• I can’t control the outcome of my parenting efforts.

• I can’t control my children’s behaviors.

• I know for certain that we are meant to be together.

• I am the best mother for my kids, and they are the best children for me.

• G-d is an equal partner in all this (I need to talk to Him more).

• It takes a village; find your support.

• I can handle this (takes some convincing sometimes).

I don’t have any advice to give. I’m in the thick of it, as are many of you. Some of the best and most important support we can get is validation from other moms. So here is me validating you if you find yourself nodding your head, saying, “Yes, me too!” And I wouldn’t mind a high five and some words of affirmation from you.

I think that this might be a new level of audacity, literally asking for encouragement from the masses. But you guys are part of my village, as I am part of yours. So, I’m leaning into that, and I hope you do too!

With love,  

One Tired Mama