How I Know They Belong

Menny’s pink sneakers, unconditional love, and my nephews Bar Mitzvah in Texas.

Nov 10, 2026

I walked in the door about half an hour ago. I wanted to write on the plane, but I was just too tired, so now I’m cozy on the couch with a cup of coffee and hoping for the juices to start flowing :).

We spent the last couple of days in San Marcos, Texas, for my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah celebration.

What a weekend!

I live for family celebrations. (I am very upset when I can’t make it.)

I was really excited about this trip, not only because I got to celebrate with my sister on the occasion of her eldest son’s Bar Mitzvah, but also because things at home have been really hard and I was hoping a little change of scenery and being around family could be just what we needed.

It turns out that I was right, AND also, all our struggles did not magically disappear (shocking, I know 🤣).

My sister Chaya Mushka and my brother-in-law Ari produced a beautiful five-star Simcha that lasted days :).

I’m going to share some of my personal moments and observations that meant a lot to me:

Matti and Menny have always had a special friendship. They are so different but genuinely respect and honor each other for who they are. Pure mutual acceptance; no questions asked. It’s one of my favorite things to witness.
My children thrive when they are with family. They feel safe, they feel grounded, and they feel unconditionally loved. How do I know this? I see it in the way that they carry themselves, I see it in the way they treat others (when you feel good about yourself, guess what? You can be kind and make others feel good), and I see it in the way they talk about their grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles.

On the way home from the airport, my husband asked the kids, “Are you glad to be home…? There’s no place like home.” And Chana Laya piped up and said, “San Marcos is like home.” That alone speaks volumes.

I’m filled with so much gratitude to my family for making it so clear to my kids that they belong. Not by any grand gestures or saying/doing anything, just by being around family they know so they are, they don’t have to explain or justify, and there is no greater gift than that.

My sister told me that someone in her community came over to her at the Bar Mitzvah and was commenting on how awesome the kids were and how they were all dancing together, and he said, “The boy in the pink sneakers, I was watching him make sure that every kid was being included and was comfortable.” The boy in the pink sneakers was my boy, and I will cherish that comment forever :). It reminded me of who he truly is and how, when he feels comfortable and safe, his real self can shine through. Things have not been easy for him in school lately, and there are no quick fixes, but I have a little clarity on what’s off by seeing the contrast of him in different environments.

While Menny loves being social and being part of (or leading) the pack, Chana Laya marches to the beat of her own drum and is often off doing her own thing. Thursday afternoon, we went to a safari-type zoo that also had a petting zoo. After we got off the tractor tour, we headed to the picnic tables for a snack. It tickled my funny bone to see everyone together chatting and having snacks. I turned around to see Chana Laya back in the petting zoo alone with the goats 🤣. She belongs living on a farm, having animals as her friends; it was pretty cute to see it play out.

Zeesy was one of the older cousins around, and it was incredible to see how the little kids gravitate towards her. She has so much patience, and she’s the girl with all the fidgets and puzzle games, and all the kids want in on that!

I don’t have solutions to the day-in, day-out struggles that we experience, and they already started as soon as we landed 🤦‍♀️. But I very much appreciate the opportunity to see the kids thrive. Every once in a while, a reminder of how awesome they are is a blessing that I cherish. The obstacles are real, and it’s overwhelming. There are many truths that are all happening at the same time, and they all deserve attention.

I hate saying “back to real life we go” because it’s all real life :). I guess it’s back to routine, and I bless myself with the strength of character to hold all the truths!