Dear Instagram, It's Complicated

Where I'm At with Instagram These Days

I’ve always had a love-love relationship with Instagram—my social media of choice and the only platform I use regularly. Yes, I can over-scroll, and I wake up to my phone in the morning, but that’s a whole different story and something I actively work on. Overall, Instagram has brought a lot of richness and connection to my life. I am a sharer—who knew! I like to connect and be seen for who I am. I don’t “put on airs.” What you see is truly who I am. Obviously, you don’t see everything—I’m careful with boundaries—and though I have made mistakes along the way, I’ve learned from them. I have gotten to know many wonderful people on Instagram and created beautiful friendships. I will always be grateful for that.

Yes, I am aware of the pitfalls and dangers of social media, and many people share how detrimental it has been for them. I see and respect that! But that hasn’t been my experience.

I also know having so much information at our fingertips can be overwhelming and can lead to downward spirals and negative self-talk. But as adults (I’m a firm believer that children and teens should not have access to social media… I know it’s not black and white, and we can discuss this further another time), we can control what we see. It’s on us to make those good choices! If something doesn’t make you feel good and is having a negative impact on you, you can make sure you don’t see it. I control what I want to see, and in turn, Instagram is not a triggering place for me.

I honestly have mad respect for people who choose not to engage with it at all, and that might even be ideal. But what can I say? I’m really happy to have Instagram in my life. It requires discipline, and I can be a disciplined person, so it works for me.

So why am I even bringing this up?

Lately, Instagram has been very frustrating for me. First, my views are down for some unexplained reason. I don’t understand how the algorithms work, and it infuriates me that I’m at the mercy of the Instagram gods. Second, even with the views I do have, people seem to be much less engaged. Maybe that’s positive for the greater good, but it ain’t great for me :). I really don’t enjoy sharing into a black hole. The reason I like Instagram in the first place is for the connection and mutual interaction. It’s pretty disheartening, and it can all feel pointless when you feel like you’re talking into the abyss.

Third, as much as I like Instagram, it is not my whole life, and I will not make a reel out of every damn thing. Apparently, that’s what you need to do to get any attention around here. So, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and for the first time ever, I contemplated shutting it all down. Shoutout to my sister, Chaya Mushka, for talking me off the ledge.

But I’m slowly realizing that’s just the reality, and I’m gonna have to contend with it. My priorities remain the same, and I’m sticking to my original approach of not letting it take over my life. Ultimately, I’ve invested so much, and especially now with my podcast out in the world, I would only be punishing myself. But much more than all that, I’m staying because I love you guys. I love what we have—our “community”—and I’m just going to be here doing my thing. When you’re ready to come back or engage, I’ll welcome you with excitement and open arms.

Everything has ups and downs—lulls and surges—and it takes patience, which I don’t have, and consistency, which I do have. At least, I think I do…

It feels good to share this, so thank you for “listening” to my mini rant. I would usually make this into a monologue on Instagram, but that’s kinda pointless right now in light of our discussion :).

With lots of ❤️,

Your Instagram friend (and if you’re not on Instagram, join us—or not—and I’ll still be your friend),

Chavie