Confessions of a Maximalist

Is less really always more?

A few weeks ago, I posted a story on Instagram cleaning out my makeup drawer, and I got quite a few comments on how many lipsticks I have. I’ve been wanting to share my thoughts on minimalism vs. maximalism for a while, but some other topic always took precedence. It finally feels like the stars are aligned and the time is right to talk about it.

As a self-proclaimed maximalist, I used to experience a smidge of shame around my love of stuff, like there was a moral high ground that seemed to surround minimalism. Of course, we live in a consumerist society, especially here in America, and it gets to be too much when everywhere you turn, you're being sold something.

It sounds way better when someone says, “I need less,” over someone who likes to have a lot. It sounds way better when someone says, “I don’t need stuff to make me happy,” over someone who gets enjoyment from owning a designer handbag. It’s much more admirable when someone says, “Ugh, when I look at my closet and see so much stuff, it makes me nauseous, and I need to purge,” over someone who likes a closet full of choices.

Some people have a minimalist personality and come by it honestly. Yet, for a while (I’m seeing a bit of a shift, especially in interiors), it was all the rage to have a pared-down, almost sterile aesthetic, and man, I did not like that.

I think part of what contributes to the superiority of the minimalist lifestyle is based in Chassidus. So much of its teachings emphasize spiritual refinement of the physical world. We are not supposed to be putting too much emphasis and attention on materialism. Yes, we are put into the world to transform the mundane and elevate the materialistic into a state of holiness. However, there are so many ways to do that: beautiful Shabbos tablescapes, delicious gourmet holiday food, and I could go on, but there are only so many pairs of shoes you can blame on G-d. So, if you’re a minimalist, you inherently have an advantage in this particular area of G-dly service.

Trust me, I know we are responsible for the stories we tell ourselves and the personal perspective with which we see things. And maybe some minimalists struggle with having an abundance mindset, and that’s the work they have to face—who knows? But we definitely all have something to navigate.

It was interesting to observe what this brought up for me. (Side note: Always stay curious about how you feel; you will learn so much about yourself.)

I do not like clutter, but I love layers. I love texture, I love color. I get bored quickly, so I love having choices! Like, I can never have a capsule wardrobe—I would go mad! I find joy in shopping. I’m a big believer in retail therapy, not instead of doing the deep and lasting work, not as an avoidant distraction, but as a supportive coping tool for sure! It helped me navigate some pretty difficult circumstances. Don’t underestimate what a nice pair of shoes can accomplish.

I’ve had many conversations with people around this topic, and I love hearing different viewpoints. It always makes me reflect and gain deeper insight into why I feel the way I do. Sometimes my perspective even shifts. I know! Can you believe we have the ability to have ever-evolving thoughts and opinions?

Over the years, I have evolved with how I feel about my love of options and variety, which basically means I like things. Shoes, clothes, bags, makeup, tablecloths—you get the idea…

Like I mentioned before, I did at times feel some shame around it, thinking that my liking of materialistic things makes me superficial and shallow. But I’m not a superficial and shallow person, so what does it all mean? I would have these debates in my head all the time. I was trying to make sense of it all and being a little too analytical, if you ask me. With age and maturity, I came to the conclusion that I’m a layered, deep, and nuanced person who is not superficial, and also happens to like “stuff.” I will constantly try to find ways to write my stuff off as G-dly, you know, like a tax write-off :). But I also recognize that I’m a human with my work cut out for me!

Us maximalists have to work harder to restrain ourselves but we have more fun—just saying.