Leadership advisor Chanie Wilschanski, author of This Can’t Be Normal, joins Chavie to talk about being successful and still feeling like she was barely surviving. As the oldest daughter of Chabad shluchim in New Jersey, Chanie became the person everyone relied on. Chavie wonders whether taking charge helped her cope when home life felt chaotic and unpredictable. Later, married and raising a family in Crown Heights, she and her husband were working hard but still deep in debt. She built Schools of Excellence and they paid off their debt, but she couldn’t keep going the way she was. She shares what it was like to keep working through repeated illness and two miscarriages, even giving a keynote the day after surgery for a miscarriage. Eventually she began wondering why her life required so much endurance. They discuss how it can seem like responsibilities are divided at home, but one spouse is still left with the burden of making sure it gets done. Chanie introduces what she calls “rhythms,” things that stay predictable when life is unpredictable. Chavie shares how her therapist helps her question what’s urgent, and they talk about resisting the pressure to immediately solve a child’s problem when what they need is support.
About Chanie
Chanie Wilschanski is a mom of 4 and a leadership advisor, speaker, and founder of Schools of Excellence. She works with school owners and organizational leaders who have built successful businesses but find themselves carrying an unsustainable amount of invisible responsibility. She is the author of This Can’t Be Normal: What to Do When Success Starts to Feel Like Survival, a book that explores why success can begin to feel unexpectedly heavy when decisions, responsibility, and emotional weight quietly concentrate in one person. Through her work, Chanie helps leaders build the infrastructure, rhythms, and ownership that allow organizations to thrive without everything routing back to them.
This Week’s Prompt
Did you ever feel conflicted, scared, or overwhelmed by a pregnancy?
In collaboration with SHIFRA, this week’s voice notes feature mothers sharing their experiences of struggling during pregnancy and receiving support.
Stay to the end of every episode to hear listener voice notes in response to that week’s prompt. Want to join the conversation? Follow Chavie on Instagram for each week’s prompt, then send your voice note via WhatsApp to 406-600-4935.
Referenced On the Pod
3:54: Life Without a Phone, Chavie’s essay on Substack
9:12: The Sisters Chat about Life Behind the Mic with Chavie Bruk
9:24: Mushky Yiftach Hashem’s Story: Becoming the Duct Tape Queen, on Totally Unexpected!
14:39: Erica Pelman’s Story: What the Abortion Debate Misses About Mothers, on Totally Unexpected!
18:40: This Can’t Be Normal by Chanie Wilschanski
44:08: Schools of Excellence, Chanie Wilschanski’s podcast
45:58: Terry Real, psychotherapist and author
1:16:03: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
1:39:12: Shaar Habitachon (Gate of Trust)
1:53:28: The Myth of Having It All by Chanie Wilschanski, EmBRace magazine, Fall 5787, pp. 34–37
Stay in touch with Chanie
Download the first chapter of This Can’t Be Normal for free.
Stay in touch with Chavie
Totally Unexpected! on YouTube
Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
