It’s always amazing when the Yom Tov season is over and I’m like, wow, what we accomplished in the last month is quite something.

Last night after Havdalah and the house emptied out, Chaim Shaul and I were chatting and just touching base about our thoughts on the Yom Tov season. We both were reflecting on how beautiful it was, and not just platitudes. We have come a long way with a lot of intentional work. We felt this year a sense of flow and less anxiety surrounding all the many things we do and hats we wear. So that felt really good :)

What I really want to focus on today is the third anniversary of October 7th, which is today! Talk about hard to believe.

I don’t have any deep or revolutionary things to contribute. But I do have some personal experiences to share.

A few years ago, we bought the house next door and turned it into a guest house. One of the goals of the guest house was to be able to host soldiers from Israel who were traveling through. Believe it or not, it happens quite often.

And I just want to share how impactful that’s been for our family and our community.

We have hosted many soldiers and families that have been on the front lines, whether as young soldiers or as middle-aged men doing their reserve duty. Hearing their stories and their strength, their humility, and, astonishingly, their joy in protecting all of us is humbling.

When they join our Shabbos table and graciously share their stories and their hearts, I feel very privileged to be witness to it.

Chaim Shaul and I will continue to host and show our gratitude to our heroes.

Thank you for your bravery and your devotion to our nation. We love you!

On the first anniversary of October 7, I sat down with Chana Traxler on Totally Unexpected! to talk about her experience that day in Tzfat. This is a true, minute-to-minute breakdown, in real time, of what it felt like to be in Israel on October 7th. Still so grateful to Chana for sharing her story with us.

Listen here:

I also wanted to share the piece I wrote after visiting Nova for the first time. The multitudes we hold as a people is endless. The beauty, the pain, the hope.

My First Time at Nova
https://www.totallyunexpected.blog/p/first-time-at-nova

And a brand-new episode is out today!

This week’s episode of Totally Unexpected! is with parenting educator Blimie Heller. We talk about control, conflict, what it means for our children to feel safe being who they are, and the very uncomfortable reality that we actually cannot control our children.

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

YouTube:

So Excited About This Convo

I recently got to sit down for an interview on The Brief, a podcast by Bozeman Media Design with spectacular host, Liv Longin, featuring the stories of local Bozeman entrepreneurs and creators.

It was really fun getting to be on the other side of the microphone for a change.

Share your thoughts and comments here :)).

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🩷 Chavie

Okay, so last night was Sushi in the Sukkah. I know it’s not a super novel concept anymore, but it’s an event that everyone in Bozeman loves and it is SO much fun. We have the best sushi chefs. They come to our kitchen and spend all day making high-end, delicious, gourmet sushi. And this year was beautiful.

Over a hundred people. It was just so much fun to watch people enjoy the sukkah, enjoy each other, enjoy the holiday.

There were people everywhere. Tons of people in the sukkah, a kids’ art project going on in the dining room, tons of kids playing outside in the yard. Everywhere you turned, people were chatting and talking and connecting.

And, of course, lots and lots of sushi :).

And then there were all these little Sukkos moments happening in the middle of it all.

It’s so much fun. And it’s really special.

This is one of those moments where you can just stand back and feel so blessed and lucky to live in Bozeman, to have this incredible community, and to be able to facilitate an incredible community. It’s really, really cool.

And we have a little tradition, my husband and I, after the party. Our sushi chef makes me special sushi because I don’t like raw fish. I know, it’s crazy :).

So he makes me some cooked sushi, makes my husband his favorites, and after everyone leaves, we sit and eat sushi together.

Which is really nice.

In Totally Unexpected! land…

If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode with Rabbi David Aaron yet, go listen! I still can’t get over hearing Rabbi Aaron’s origin story. How he went from being an angsty, rebellious teenager in Toronto to discovering Kabbalah in Jerusalem at eighteen. Totally unexpected if you ask me…

Listen here:
Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube

And just like that, we are somehow at the end of this month of holidays. Is that crazy?? The next time you hear from me, Tishrei will be over and we’ll officially be on the other side.

Which also means that we are getting back to our regularly scheduled programming :). A brand-new episode of Totally Unexpected! is coming out on Monday, and Substack will be back every Tuesday. Monday’s episode will still not have a voice-note outro, but the prompts are officially coming back! We’ll send out a new question based on something from the episode, you’ll send me your voice notes, and the voice-note section will be back in the episode after that.

I missed hearing from you guys!!

For now, wishing you all a beautiful Yom Tov. Enjoy these last days, soak up whatever you can, survive whatever you need to 😂, and I’ll see you on the other side.

🩷 Chavie

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Okayyyy, how was your fast? It’s such a silly question but nonetheless, I do care about how your fast was and how you’re doing in general :).

Tell me right here in the comments…

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or message me directly!!

We’re right in the middle of this really intense holiday season, and I always want to check in with you guys :)).

For me, the fast actually started off great but then the last three hours I got a pretty bad headache, and it kind of drained all the energy out of me.

Today, I wanted to go right into Sukkos prep because it’s SO soon but on the other hand, my body is like, nope, we need to take a day and get ourselves situated. So I’m spending the day getting my menus organized, making shopping lists, and figuring out what I need to do so I can hit the ground running tomorrow.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share some Sukkos inspiration and some of the elements I’m using for my tables this year. I obviously don’t have everything yet. I don’t have my flowers, and it’s always hard to share the actual tables in real time because, well, it’s Yom Tov when the tables are set :). So I’ll also share last year’s setup for some extra inspo.

This Year’s Table

This year, I’m using these plaid tablecloths from Target. They’re a little more casual than I usually go for, but I think with the flowers, the fall vibe, and the sukkah being outdoors, it’ll work.

For the plates, I’m using these pumpkin spice gemstone plates from Yom Tov Settings:

Link with promo code here: Pumpkin Spice Gemstone Plates

And then I found these oven-to-table dishes at Target in this really fun red color. Such a cool fall vibe. I use a ton of oven-to-table dishes, so I was excited to find these. The cake pan comes with a cover, so you can bake the cake and then store it right in there:

Nonstick Aluminized Steel Cake Pan Set with Lid Red - Figmint

And this ruffle pie dish:

Stoneware Ruffle Pie Dish Red - Figmint

Last Year’s Tables

And because I can’t show you the finished version of this year’s table yet, here is last year’s setup :):

One little Sukkos tip that was SUCH a game changer for me last year: if you live somewhere cold, put a blanket on every chair.

Obviously, if you live in Florida or Texas, ignore me 😂. But here, I just got whatever little blankets I could find at Walmart. They were kind of funny, with random patterns, but it was such a nice touch and gave everybody a little extra warmth. I loved it. And on that note…

Cozy Chilli

I wanted to share one of my favorite traditional Sukkos recipes. The first night, I traditionally serve chili. It’s very cold in the sukkah here, and I feel like chili is such a good, yummy fall meal for that first night.

So here’s the recipe I use:

Mediterranean Chili with Basmati Rice

Chili:

1 lb. ground meat, lamb, chicken, or turkey
4–5 cloves garlic
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. pepper
6 oz. tomato paste
1–2 cups water
1 15-oz. can chickpeas
1 tbsp. cumin
1 tsp. coriander
1 tsp. turmeric
¼ tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1–2 tsp. sugar
1–3 tsp. cayenne pepper, depending on how spicy you like it (can omit)
Iceberg lettuce

Basmati rice:

2 cups basmati rice
3⅓ cups water
1 tbsp. oil
Pinch of salt

Bring the water to a boil. Add salt and oil, then add the rice. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes. Check the rice about four minutes before the 20 minutes are up to check for doneness.

Meanwhile, place the meat in a nonstick pan over medium heat. Add salt and pepper, then cook for five minutes. Add the garlic and spices and cook for two minutes. Add the chickpeas and stir them into the meat and spices. Add the tomato paste and water and simmer for 20 minutes.

Serve the chili over the rice with shredded iceberg lettuce on the side.

Okay, that’s my little Sukkos download for now :). I’ll share the finished tables when I actually have finished tables to share!

And in Totally Unexpected! land…

This week’s episode with Rabbi David Aaron is out! This is a perfect episode to listen to if you’re looking for a spiritual lift for the season. We get into Kabbalah, G-d, and we also get into his own story and background. I already got this message from a listener which I had to share:

Go listen and let me know what you think!

YouTube

Spotify

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🩷 Chavie

Hey guys. How was your Yom Tov? I want to hear it all.

It’s very rarely just one thing. Mine was quite beautiful. The services and the meals were amazing. Good energy, a full crowd, just awesome.

And then, you know, home life was harder. Kids were hard. We had some hard moments, let’s just say. And I feel like those hard moments are always amplified when it’s Rosh Hashanah and you’re like, what? I can’t believe this is happening on Rosh Hashanah.

But it does, and it’s okay. It’s just part of the package.

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Here are some photos of the tablescapes. I definitely had to pivot because the beautiful plates I ordered for the Friday night dinner didn’t come on time. That is a very common occurrence for me in Bozeman :). So I had to use backup plates, which was not my vision, and I had to wrap my brain around that. But it still was fine.

And today, I am worn out.

You know, the body keeps the score. I’m tired, I’m a little under the weather, and mostly my brain just isn’t working.

And I have a big Challah Bake event tomorrow.

I have a lot to do for it, and I haven’t really planned it out yet. I haven’t figured out what I want to do or the structure of it all, and I’m feeling a little stuck because my brain is refusing to participate.

So hopefully it’s all going to come together tomorrow. Praying for some miracles :).

It’s actually interesting because I don’t do Challah Bakes very often. It’s not a program that comes easily to me, so I always have to work up the motivation, the courage, and the capacity to do it. The last Challah Bake we did was for Chaya’s Bas Mitzvah five years ago.

My husband suggested doing one now, and at first I pushed back. I was like, no, I’m not doing it. It’s too much work. I can’t do it after Yom Tov.

Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is a really good time to do it, but also, after a busy Yom Tov, it’s really hard.

So I pushed back, and then as I sat with it, I was like, you know what? It’s a really good idea. We haven’t done one in a long time. It’s a beautiful time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I’m just going to do it.

Part of me is really, really happy that I’m doing it because I know it’s going to be great.

But the other part of me is like, I knew it. I knew I was going to be too tired and run down and not be able to muster the energy.

So, lots of truths happening at the same time.

But at the end of the day, it’s going to happen. And even if it’s not perfect, and I don’t have a perfect activity planned, and I don’t have the perfect structure, and I don’t have gourmet snacks, it’ll happen. It’ll be beautiful. We’ll socialize. A bunch of friends will be together.

What could be bad?

That’s the update. I’ll keep you posted on how it went :).

Also, if you haven’t listened to my last episode with Shevach Tamir yet, go listen! (See links below.) It was such an enjoyable conversation for me personally, with so many great insights into parenting, behavior, and even some of the latent trauma we carry around without realizing it. I really loved this one.

And a quick podcast heads-up: because Tishrei is Tishrei 😅, we are taking a little break from the listener prompts for the next two episodes, which means there won’t be a voice note outro for those episodes. Also, because of Yom Kippur, next week’s episode will come out on Tuesday instead of Monday. Other than that, everything is business as usual! Interviews will still come out, and Substack isn’t going anywhere :). We’ll get back to the prompts after the holidays.

Happy New Year and Gmar Chasima Tova to all my dear listners,

Chavie

Hiii I’m knee deep making menus, shopping lists, cooking, kids didn’t have school yesterday, baking challah, designing the tables for big community dinner Friday night and but I did have a moment to check out this class from YY Jacobson, which was a balm for the soul. I would highly encourage checking it out if you are feeling the same, and if you aren’t please teach me your ways: Healing Your Rosh Hashanah Desperation and Anxiety: The Haunting Story the Baal Shem Tov Told before Blowing Shofar

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Also, this week’s interview with Shevach Tamir was such an enjoyable episode for me personally. He shares really great insights into parenting, behavior, and unlocking latent trauma, and the conversation gave me a lot to think about. The prompt for this episode was about astrology, and we have quite a lineup of voice notes from people sharing the parts of their charts that feel the most accurate. It’s a must-listen, if I may say so myself.

I also want to take a moment to thank my dear readers, subscribers, podcast listeners, and the beautiful community we have on Instagram. Our connection is truly fuel for my creative, expressive soul, which desires so much to share with the world. Thank you for seeing me. I also hope that you feel seen by me and by the people whose stories are told on the podcast.

Wishing you and your family a sweet, happy new year. A year of inner peace and alignment, a year of abundance in all areas, materially and spiritually.

Love,

Chavie

Hi from Europe!!

We are wrapping up an amazing week in Austria and gearing up for our second week of our trip in Hungary. Today was Chana Laya’s birthday and we decided the activity should be really kid friendly and less exploring :).

Chaim Shaul found a water park about an hour away from Vienna right over the Czech Republic border. Not a word of English spoken by anyone, the only Americans for sure on location, and it was a blast. I think it’s very cool to mix up your trip with touristy stuff and some random off the beaten path local experiences.

The water park was called Aqualand Moravia and I was really impressed! Very efficient, very clean, and the kids had no problem navigating it at all!

When Chaim Shaul and I “plan” these trips we actually plan very little. We book an Airbnb and that’s pretty much it. We get to our location, get the lay of the land, work with the vibe of the kids and go from there. Does that mean we miss out on some stuff? Absolutely! But the trade off is worth it. We aren’t pressured (we as in me IYKYK) and that’s a very big point of our travel. There is always a moment of overwhelm when you see all the stuff there is to do and you know you can’t do it all and how do you choose? You take it one day at a time. Being present and fully enjoying the moment that you’re in, always works. And no matter what, you are going to miss stuff, so knowing that that’s inevitable takes the pressure off.

I am so grateful for the things we got to do in Austria; it’s an incredible country! There was a lot more I wanted to do in the Austrian Alps so I hope I get to come back one day! For more details follow me on Instagram, where I share a short daily recap.

Excited for our week in Hungary!

You know I’ll keep you posted!

If you didn’t listen yet, make sure you catch my interview with Dena Schusterman that came out yesterday on the pod.

🩷 Chavie

Sooo we just released the 50th episode of Totally Unexpected! and I am kvelling. Yes, I get to use that word for this occasion ;).

For this milestone episode, my guest was therapist, coach, and host of Tribe & Tribulations, Julia Makowsky. I’ve always loved her energy and the fresh points of view she shares on Instagram, and she did not disappoint, lemme tell ya. We talked about her life story, how she became a therapist, the difference between coaching and therapy, and how her own personal observance has evolved over the years. It’s a deeply personal and honest conversation that I learned so much from.

Buttt the big surprise comes at the end of the episode.

Remember when I asked you a couple of weeks ago which previous guests you’d want to hear from in the voice note section of the podcast? Well, you answered, and we went and asked those guests what they’re up to since their interview on the pod, and if they had any thoughts or reflections looking back on their conversation.

Hearing from them again felt like such a beautiful way to celebrate this milestone episode. Fifty episodes means fifty conversations, fifty stories, fifty unexpected moments, and so many people who have trusted me with pieces of their lives. I don’t take that lightly.

So go and listen, especially to the end, and then tell me what you think!

Thank you so much for being on this journey with me. I can’t wait to share the next 50 incredible stories on Totally Unexpected!

Love,

Chavie

On Sunday, I made a quick trip to New York to finally deal with a wig I had ordered for Menny’s Bar Mitzvah. When it came, the color was too dark and I had to send it back. But since it was the height of the war, everything was taking longer, so I didn’t end up having it in time.

Living in Montana, maintaining a wig is just so hard. Every time you really need to work on one, you have to fly in, and sometimes it takes a couple of years before you actually get a wig exactly where you want it.

A lot of women learn how to wash and set their own wigs because they can’t easily travel to get them done, and people are always telling me, “I can teach you. You can learn.” And I’m like, I’m not interested in learning. I don’t want to do that myself. I have to be self-sufficient in so many areas of my life, and I just do not want to wash my own wigs. I know I can learn. I know I’m capable. I don’t want to. So sometimes I wait months and months, and sometimes I literally fly to New York just to take care of my wigs. It’s not something I do often, but it is, apparently, part of what I’ve got to do.

Buying a wig is also such a strange mix of risk, faith and hoping for the best, because you truly have no idea if you’re going to love it until you buy it and start wearing it. I’ve had wigs that were amazing from the start, and I’ve had wigs that, no matter what you do, just never work. It can be a lot, and it can be really stressful, but I’ve learned not to get too caught up in it or expect perfection. A wig is a wig. It’s never going to be your hair. I’ve stopped trying to make it look exactly like my hair or feel exactly like my hair, because it isn’t. Sometimes it might even look like you’re wearing a wig and guess what? You are!!! Accepting that has helped me let go of a lot of the anxiety around it. Thankfully, this trip was a good one. I really like how it came out so far, and there is honestly nothing better than leaving New York with your wigs fresh and clean.

On my way to the sheitel appointment.

What the wig studio looks like.

My wig after a six month wait! The first time around, the hair was so dark we had to send it back.

Making sure it fits perfectly.

The master @salonleah at work.

Wearing it for the day to see how it feels and if I want to change anything,

I don’t have much more to report back to you guys except my interview on Human & Holy came out last week and I’m so excited about it. Tonia is amazing and I loved being in her studio in person and getting to play the role of guest on a show for once, waltzing in and just having the most delightful, deep conversation that Tonia is such a master at cultivating. Must listen. Or watch!

Yesterday’s episode on Totally Unexpected! was an absolute first for me. Sonia is the daughter of a Jewish mother and Palestinian father. She wrote a book, The Roots of the Guava Tree, about her struggle to understand her identity. It was fascinating to hear the story from her first hand on the pod. Take a listen!

Chaim Shaul and I went on a runaway! I really needed a few days to come up for air post Bar Mitzvah to regroup. Also, summer is right around the corner. The kids are wrapping up school and tourists are starting to show up so this was a good moment to take a breath.

I also must tell you about the episode we just released yesterday with my dear friend Paola. She lives in Bozeman and she runs the yoga retreat I go to in Mexico that I’ve told you guys so much about, like here:

She has impacted my life in such a big way and I love that I finally get to share her with you. She is a yoga instructor and Ayurvedic healer, and every ounce of this episode is soaked with wisdom, inspiration, and brilliant life hacks. Listen and let me know what you think!!

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

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While I’m out of town, I’m recording a little something special which I’m excited to share with you soon :). I also got a few special love notes from some people who listened to the episode yesterday and I was so touched that I wanted to share it with you guys:

Anyway, that’s my little check-in from the road. More soon.

Love,

Chavie

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Reporting live from Bozeman… I truly can’t believe this day is here. After months of planning, prepping, coordinating, stressing and more than a little spiraling, our Bar Mitzvah weekend is in full motion. The house is full, family and friends have come in from all over, there’s energy in every corner, and everything is starting to come together. I’m trying to pause in the middle of it all and take it in… my only son is becoming a Bar Mitzvah today.

I’m going to keep things short and sweet, but if you haven’t had a chance to listen to yesterday’s episode yet, here it is:

This interview was recorded exactly a year ago, so I’m so excited that it’s finally out in the world. Listen to the intro for all the deets ;)).

Also, this week’s Hot Take segment is pretty juicy: Jewish Books vs. Non-Jewish Books—Where Do You Draw the Line? This prompt is a follow-up from last episode’s Book Buddy convo. It made me wonder where we all draw the line when it comes to secular culture. Stick around until the end of the episode for the Hot Take segment, where I play your voice notes reacting to this prompt, it’s always one of my favorite parts. And make sure to look out for my next prompt so you can send me your hot take. I’m dying to hear what you think on all these juicy topics!

Love,

Chavie

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Hi guys!!

I’m trying something new here :)). This isn’t the ordinary essay that I deliver on Tuesday’s, just a quick little Pesach greeting to the loyal readers of this blog I love so much. Sometimes, when holidays come around we skip a week of essays so I figured, instead of skipping, I would just keep it short and sweet, and of course throw in behind the scenes of all the prep.

As promised, here is Chana Laya’s private tour:

Here are some the most recent episodes we released on the podcast. Stay tuned for a special episode next week! And when I say special, I mean it. It’s something totally new, we’ve never done before and we are releasing it as a bonus companion to your Chol Hamoed entertainment!

Rivkah Slonim

Chaim Bruk

Anna Sherman

I hope you have a wonderful and liberating Pesach (at least once all the cooking, cleaning, and prep is done!)

With so much love,

Chavie

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