Some of you know that my husband went to Poland last week. He went to trace the path of his grandfather’s life in that country before he escaped during the Holocaust. He also joined our Montana Senator, Steve Daines, on a moving visit to Auschwitz, which was extremely impactful for all involved. Read more about his trip here.

I don’t love being home alone with the kids (I do love leaving, though ), but I’m perfectly capable of it, and I really had a good attitude and handled it like a champ, 8,000 carpools and all.

All was going (seemingly) well until Thursday when we hit some really big challenges. Amid the chaos, my phone was destroyed. So, I’ve been without a phone since Thursday afternoon.

It’s been interesting to experience the phone-less life, and here’s what I’m noticing:

I’m really ok. I’m not having any major withdrawals. I am pretty proud about the fact that it doesn’t feel like I’m struggling. Of course, we can always use our phone less, but not having it made me realize I have pretty good habits around my phone.

There are many little things for which we rely on our phone. It’s so integrated into our lives that not having it can make life pretty inconvenient. I miss my Google Maps and I really miss listening to my podcasts and music a lot a lot.

Ok, so let’s talk Instagram: for me, and for a lot of us, it could be the most interesting to analyze. On the one hand, being off the grid can be pretty cool AND it’s getting old fast. I feel disconnected. I miss having conversations in my DMs, I miss knowing what’s going on, and I miss sharing with all of you. I had a lot to share that was planned, and a lot that I share off the cuff, and I feel frustrated that I have my hands tied behind my back. My phone-less time is reinforcing for me the many positives that social media has brought to my life. I love Instagram (I would be thrilled if it loved me back a little more 🤓), I love the connections I’ve made, I love the opportunities it gives me to share, and share I do! Ain’t no mysteries over here :)

So, all to say, I’m really excited to get a phone, and it’s also good to know that I am totally ok without it (for a limited time).

Stay tuned because I’m going to have double the content once I’m back!

Chavie

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Totally Unexpected Roundup

Here’s what’s happening in Totally Unexpected! land:

The Sisters Chat

The always hilarious Sisters Chat! Come get all the tea on our longtime beef over long vs. short podcasts :).

My earlier conversation with Mushky

The Brief

I was so proud to be featured on The Brief with Liv Longin! and be on the other side of the microphone for a change. Liv is a sixth-generation Montanan who features local Bozeman icons on her show. So, does this officially make me a Bozeman icon??

Erica Pelman on Totally Unexpected!

I’m so grateful to people like Erica Pelman, who advocate for women and bring attention to issues that are still so hidden or taboo in our community, especially unwanted or unexpected pregnancies. I had the opportunity to hear Erica’s own story, including how a call from a friend planning an abortion eventually led her to start SHIFRA. We talked about the practical and emotional support women need, and how much it matters to keep the mother at the center of that conversation. If you haven’t listened yet, the episode is called What the Abortion Debate Misses About Mothers. You can listen or watch here:

Quick note: This essay was originally published on the first iteration of this blog, Clear as Mud on November 21, 2023. We still have a few archived essays to share but once we’re through with the archive, the off weeks between new essays will be newsletters only.

I don’t have the words to explain how it feels to be living through the last six weeks. Honestly, we are all living through it, so you don’t need my words to address your lived experience.

These last few weeks, I was having this feeling like, “I wish I had something to say,” “I wish I could put some of my feelings into words,” “I wish I had the talent to write something beautiful and inspiring to comfort and uplift my followers, friends, and community.” Somewhere deep down, I knew that the time would come when I would have something to share, and all the while, I found so much comfort in reading and sharing the beautiful thoughts and posts from others.

I now know why all of a sudden I’m like, “Oh, I need to write a post ASAP!” I have all these realizations and ideas that are just swimming around in my head that I need to get down on paper, and they are all related to trying to navigate the mess of life we are living right now. I couldn’t share it right away or earlier on because I hadn’t lived it yet.

I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my brain and a lot of emotions swimming around in my heart. I will do my best to make it as coherent as I can:

This is the first war against the Jews that we are going through where social media is so prevalent and such a huge part of our lives. I’m really seeing the impact that it’s having on my nervous system. To be getting a constant stream of devastating news every time we open our phones is a reality that we are having to face. And I’m not sure we have the luxury of tuning that out. Every time I think I’ve figured out the balance that works for me, it goes to hell. Another layer to all of this is that not only are we witnessing tragedy in real time, but we are also privy to many people/influencers’ personal reactions, grief processes, and opinions.

I find that in addition to feelings of grief and overwhelm and helplessness, little feelings of shame start to creep in. Am I grieving enough? Am I grieving in the right way? If I’m trying to live, do my job, be a good mom, does that mean I’m not sad enough…? How could I function if I really absorbed it all?

And it doesn’t end there. Our nation, we Jews, are held to such a high standard. During all of this, the massacre, our soldiers at war, and the mass antisemitic cool club we are seeing across the USA, we are charged with the “simple” task of adding light. Of course, we do it, and frankly, we don’t know another way, but does anybody else feel the pressure?… I do! Just because we have no choice, just because it’s the right thing to do, doesn’t mean it’s not hard! It doesn’t mean that we are not left spinning with so many opposing emotions and dizzy with uncertainty and confusion.

Our nervous systems are struggling. They are under fire. Each of us in our own life is going to need to figure out how to move through this time. My way might not look like your way. It probably shouldn’t look the same; we are different people with different lives and circumstances.

I’m a sharer, so I’m going to share with you my process, what I’m trying to implement in my life, how I landed where I am now, and my very real struggles along the way. I hope you find some comfort in knowing there is another person out there struggling with real human emotions that we’d rather not acknowledge.

(Side note: As I’m writing this, we are waiting for news about the ceasefire/hostage situation, and my heart is beating and I’m on edge, as well as second-guessing my decision to write this article. Just putting it out there.)

During the last two months, I was pushed (due to circumstance) to spend more time than I would like reflecting and kinda analyzing the different layers of struggle I was having. Of course, what’s at the forefront, layer number one, are the tragedies and constant heartbreaking news all the damn time. Layer number two is the denial and gross hatred of Jews. Layer number three for me was more complex and harder to figure out. But I did 😉

My family life is quite intense. My children take a lot of energy, and therapeutic parenting is exhausting. Most of my kids are in a difficult stage right now (starting way before the war), and it leaves me very little room for other big life events or huge global tragedies.

It’s not really anything new, but the family Hashem blessed me with is unique and takes a level of presence and care that pushes me to my limits. One of the ways that has allowed me to show up for my family at my best is the ability to share parts of my life, to be seen, to have a creative outlet, and to feel worthy outside of my home life. Not to worry, I know that true self-worth comes from within. I work on that constantly, but it doesn’t hurt to find passion and fulfillment outside of yourself.

Two things happened for me.

One: so much mental and emotional energy went to the war, what’s happening to Israel and to our people, that I found myself with very little left for my family, which does not work. I know all families need their mom on point, but some families have a bit of wiggle room. Mine does not!

Two: my outlet, my place of release, became, first, scary, and second, not a place where I felt it was appropriate or comfortable to share things outside of war. That was hard for me, more than hard. It took a while for me to figure out that this is probably because it was an uncomfortable feeling and felt shallow and petty. Yet, it is what it is, and now that I know it, I can confront it and start to navigate it.

We are now many weeks into this war, and it feels appropriate and more of a necessity to figure out how to proceed. There are no rules, and I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of trial and error in how people process as we all try to live through this time. We are not moving on! That will never happen, but we are learning to live with it. We need to.

I don’t want to go to the other extreme and never look or know what’s going on (that happens from burnout; we flip all the way to the other side). I want to be connected to my people. I want to feel the pain of our losses and the joys of our strengths. So, I came up with a little plan for myself. It will always be a work in progress because things are so fluid, but at least I will have a foundation.

Every morning, I will start my day with Tzedakah and a few minutes of prayer. For the soldiers, for the hostages, for our people. That’s probably the most impactful thing I can do.

Regarding social media, I will devote a few minutes every day to sharing either something important, educational, or inspirational, and then I will respectfully and intentionally (which I’m sure you’ve seen already on my page and many others) share other parts of my life. Not for one minute does that mean I have forgotten or become callous to our current events. It’s me deciding to live, because of who we are, because this is the way I fight back against the evil of Hamas and the haters in our country.

May we merit the coming of Mashiach right now!!! The fastest way to come out of this darkness!

With love and hope,

Chavie

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This Week on Totally Unexpected!

This week’s episode on Totally Unexpected! is with Erica Pelman, the founder of SHIFRA, the only Jewish organization in America helping women with unplanned pregnancies. She tells me about a call she received from a friend who was considering an abortion and how she felt like her hands were tied and there was nothing she could do to help. What touches me so much about Erica and the work she does at SHIFRA is that the only question that concerns her is: How can she help mothers and women? What is it that they need right now? If that saves the baby, great. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn’t. But her mission is to help mothers, full stop. I found this so refreshing, especially in a space that is so crowded with debate about pro-life or pro-choice that sometimes we forget about the mothers and making their needs a priority. This also aligns so much with the Jewish perspective on abortion: the mother comes first, always. I hope you are inspired by this conversation and by Erica as much as I am.

Listen to the full episode right here on Substack, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or watch on YouTube, where we’re also sharing longer clips from the conversation.

YouTube

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

Substack

About Erica

Erica Pelman is the founder & CEO of SHIFRA. Prior to creating SHIFRA, she worked at the U.S. Department of Labor for seven years on Faith-Based and Community Initiatives and workforce development programs. She is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and lives in Rockville, Maryland with her husband and their four children. She grew up in Austin, Texas. 

This Week's Prompt

What Did You Have to Unlearn About Parenting?

Stay to the end of the episode for listener voice notes responding to this week’s prompt.

Want to be featured in a future episode? Follow Chavie on Instagram for upcoming prompts, then send your voice note via WhatsApp to 406-600-4935.

Referenced on the Pod

• 2:35: Chavie’s interview with Liv Longin on The Brief

• 8:18: Article about the Bruk's adoption journey by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller on Aish.com 

• 1:13:35: Lori Palatnik, co-founder and founding director of Momentum

• 1:29:56: Nissim Black, Orthodox Jewish rapper and musician

Stay in touch with Erica

• @call_shifra on Instagram
  

• If you or someone you love needs help: callshifra.org/start-here
  

• If you would like to help others: callshifra.org/donate

Stay in touch with Chavie

• @chaviebruk on Instagram
  

• www.totallyunexpected.blog
  

• Totally Unexpected! on YouTube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

I am so excited to be back writing essays! We’re officially back to regular programming around here: an original essay one week and a newsletter the next :).

My flight was at 6:00 AM. That’s when we were supposed to leave, but lo and behold, I woke up to snow in Montana, which means we are back on the de-icing train and making flight connections by the skin of our teeth. I really wasn’t going to make it, with five minutes between flights, but I have a husband who works magic behind the scenes :).

Anyway, here I am on the way to New York, in a middle seat. It’s been a while since I wrote while on a plane, and I’m thinking about what I want to write about. My dilemma is that, on the one hand, I’m in a bit of a funk, and also I don’t want to be that person, ya know. So, I’m like, ok, we don’t have to get into it, let’s just keep it light and happy and not too deep. Sometimes keeping it surface-level is the right way to go. The problem is that I don’t really know how to do that 😬; I just draw a blank.

And let’s be clear, this isn’t necessarily a virtue. I think it’s so cool to be a little mysterious and not have everyone know how I feel all the time. I just don’t think that’s how I was wired, so you might be stuck with my true thoughts after all. Believe it or not, with whatever I do share, there is soooo much more (I guess I have a little bit of self-control after all).

Whenever I’m having a tough time, I notice that my body image takes a big hit. Not unusual; when we aren’t in a good place overall, it usually shows up in all areas of our life, at least for me. Today I feel like focusing on the body image piece because it’s been particularly loud this time around.

So much of how we feel in our bodies is connected to our mental health, the things that are in our heads, and what we tell ourselves. You can be the same exact size, no changes at all, and one day feel great and the next day feel terrible. In general, I am stable in this area of life, but it takes intention and effort on my part. Occasionally, my body image takes a really big hit, and it’s no fun. The problem is even worse when I take what’s in my head and then find physical proof for how I feel.

In my case, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to take an “InBody” scan (a special scale that gives you all the data) at the gym, and the results were not good! All the things that I was feeling, I could now see in real, tangible numbers. And off on a real spiral I went. So not only were these negative thoughts in my head, but it was also real and I had proof. I was so upset, frustrated, and disheartened. I work hard in my workouts, and I eat well, so it doesn’t seem fair.

I think of two specific things that make it even harder recently.

1. As a society, we have shifted back to the “skinny is best” attitude. I have not been shy about my opinion on GLP-1s, etc., and it hasn’t changed, but I find myself going to that place of “screw it, I also want to lose those stubborn 10–15 lbs.” I look around and “everyone” is getting thin, and I feel like the last one who hasn’t jumped on board (I know that I’m not the only one, but I think we can all relate to that feeling at some point or another). It’s so tempting!! But in my gut, I don’t believe in it, and it’s not what I want to do, but that leaves me with contending with the body that I have and really standing by what I feel is right (for me), and it’s hard and uncomfortable.

2. I see a lot of videos and pictures of myself. Having my own podcast, being a guest on other podcasts, being on social media, and having a pretty public life in general really messes with me. I’ll see a video or photo of me, and I’ll be like, is that how I look!?!? And I freak out. And then I’m like, what’s real? The mirror or the photos? 🤦‍♀️ It’s a very easy way to not trust myself.

When I’m in these moments, my brain takes me to two extremes. I fluctuate from “I need to buckle down, track my calories, work out more, and just get locked in” to “forget it, what’s the point anyway, I’m just going to let go, eat whatever I want, never step on a treadmill again, and screw it all.” Neither of these paths are right :), it’s me being very reactive and scared. Don’t worry, I’m not doing any of those things.

Here’s what I am doing:

A) Not changing anything practically right now.

B) Sitting with all the uncomfortable feelings, even though I want to run for the hills.

C) Practicing some gratitude for the body that I have, doing some self-talk about what my body has been through and how it has still served me faithfully.

D) I booked a styling session with Mussie Kreiman, and it’s amazing, as always. She helps put fun outfits together that make me feel good.

E) And then, of course, good old-fashioned therapy never hurts. You gotta have someone ban you from going on the “InBody” ever again :).

I think many women struggle with this, and it might just be part of our work. I’m not sure that I’ve ever met anyone for whom this doesn’t take up at least a little brain space. I’m learning for myself that this is part of my story. Sometimes I don’t think about it at all, and sometimes it’s very big. Either way, it’s ok; it’s not fun, but no drastic measures need to be taken. I can be uncomfortable, I’ll survive, and when the panic settles, I can decide if and when anything should be done about it.

So now you know beneath the surface :).

✌️Chavie

P.S. If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode of Totally Unexpected! with Blimie Heller yet, go check it out! There are so many brilliant nuggets in this episode: the idea that we can’t actually control our kids, and that this isn’t a contradiction to effective, healthy parenting; the idea that conflict doesn’t mean something is wrong, because conflict is normal!; and especially examining what successful parenting actually is. Do you want “good” kids who are compliant, or kids who feel safe to be who they truly are?

YouTube

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

It’s always amazing when the Yom Tov season is over and I’m like, wow, what we accomplished in the last month is quite something.

Last night after Havdalah and the house emptied out, Chaim Shaul and I were chatting and just touching base about our thoughts on the Yom Tov season. We both were reflecting on how beautiful it was, and not just platitudes. We have come a long way with a lot of intentional work. We felt this year a sense of flow and less anxiety surrounding all the many things we do and hats we wear. So that felt really good :)

What I really want to focus on today is the third anniversary of October 7th, which is today! Talk about hard to believe.

I don’t have any deep or revolutionary things to contribute. But I do have some personal experiences to share.

A few years ago, we bought the house next door and turned it into a guest house. One of the goals of the guest house was to be able to host soldiers from Israel who were traveling through. Believe it or not, it happens quite often.

And I just want to share how impactful that’s been for our family and our community.

We have hosted many soldiers and families that have been on the front lines, whether as young soldiers or as middle-aged men doing their reserve duty. Hearing their stories and their strength, their humility, and, astonishingly, their joy in protecting all of us is humbling.

When they join our Shabbos table and graciously share their stories and their hearts, I feel very privileged to be witness to it.

Chaim Shaul and I will continue to host and show our gratitude to our heroes.

Thank you for your bravery and your devotion to our nation. We love you!

On the first anniversary of October 7, I sat down with Chana Traxler on Totally Unexpected! to talk about her experience that day in Tzfat. This is a true, minute-to-minute breakdown, in real time, of what it felt like to be in Israel on October 7th. Still so grateful to Chana for sharing her story with us.

Listen here:

I also wanted to share the piece I wrote after visiting Nova for the first time. The multitudes we hold as a people is endless. The beauty, the pain, the hope.

My First Time at Nova
https://www.totallyunexpected.blog/p/first-time-at-nova

And a brand-new episode is out today!

This week’s episode of Totally Unexpected! is with parenting educator Blimie Heller. We talk about control, conflict, what it means for our children to feel safe being who they are, and the very uncomfortable reality that we actually cannot control our children.

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

YouTube:

So Excited About This Convo

I recently got to sit down for an interview on The Brief, a podcast by Bozeman Media Design with spectacular host, Liv Longin, featuring the stories of local Bozeman entrepreneurs and creators.

It was really fun getting to be on the other side of the microphone for a change.

Share your thoughts and comments here :)).

Leave a comment

🩷 Chavie

About Blimie
Blimie Heller is a parenting educator, coach, and the creator of the Relational Alignment Model™. She helps parents build relationships with their children based on respect and trust while navigating boundaries, conflict, and challenging behavior. Her work gives parents practical tools for moving away from control and toward connection, communication, and cooperation.

This Week's Prompt
Our listener prompt and voice notes took a short break for the holidays. We’ll resume next episode!

Referenced On the Pod

• 27:34: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

• 27:39: Children Are from Heaven by John Gray

• 37:34: Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff

• 46:40: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

• 1:03:54: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg

• 1:08:59: Yoram Mosenzon, Blimie’s teacher and major influence

• 1:18:45: GROK Empathy Cards, created by Christine King & Jean Morrison

• 1:40:21: The Journey of the Heroic Parent by Brad M. Reedy, PhD

Stay in touch with Blimie
www.blimieheller.com
@unconditional_parenting on Instagram 

Stay in touch with Chavie
@chaviebruk on Instagram
www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on YouTube

This episode is sponsored by an anonymous listener whose generous contribution covered a month of podcast production. Thank you for believing in Totally Unexpected! and helping the podcast continue to grow.

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Okay, so last night was Sushi in the Sukkah. I know it’s not a super novel concept anymore, but it’s an event that everyone in Bozeman loves and it is SO much fun. We have the best sushi chefs. They come to our kitchen and spend all day making high-end, delicious, gourmet sushi. And this year was beautiful.

Over a hundred people. It was just so much fun to watch people enjoy the sukkah, enjoy each other, enjoy the holiday.

There were people everywhere. Tons of people in the sukkah, a kids’ art project going on in the dining room, tons of kids playing outside in the yard. Everywhere you turned, people were chatting and talking and connecting.

And, of course, lots and lots of sushi :).

And then there were all these little Sukkos moments happening in the middle of it all.

It’s so much fun. And it’s really special.

This is one of those moments where you can just stand back and feel so blessed and lucky to live in Bozeman, to have this incredible community, and to be able to facilitate an incredible community. It’s really, really cool.

And we have a little tradition, my husband and I, after the party. Our sushi chef makes me special sushi because I don’t like raw fish. I know, it’s crazy :).

So he makes me some cooked sushi, makes my husband his favorites, and after everyone leaves, we sit and eat sushi together.

Which is really nice.

In Totally Unexpected! land…

If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode with Rabbi David Aaron yet, go listen! I still can’t get over hearing Rabbi Aaron’s origin story. How he went from being an angsty, rebellious teenager in Toronto to discovering Kabbalah in Jerusalem at eighteen. Totally unexpected if you ask me…

Listen here:
Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube

And just like that, we are somehow at the end of this month of holidays. Is that crazy?? The next time you hear from me, Tishrei will be over and we’ll officially be on the other side.

Which also means that we are getting back to our regularly scheduled programming :). A brand-new episode of Totally Unexpected! is coming out on Monday, and Substack will be back every Tuesday. Monday’s episode will still not have a voice-note outro, but the prompts are officially coming back! We’ll send out a new question based on something from the episode, you’ll send me your voice notes, and the voice-note section will be back in the episode after that.

I missed hearing from you guys!!

For now, wishing you all a beautiful Yom Tov. Enjoy these last days, soak up whatever you can, survive whatever you need to 😂, and I’ll see you on the other side.

🩷 Chavie

Leave a comment

Okayyyy, how was your fast? It’s such a silly question but nonetheless, I do care about how your fast was and how you’re doing in general :).

Tell me right here in the comments…

Leave a comment

or message me directly!!

We’re right in the middle of this really intense holiday season, and I always want to check in with you guys :)).

For me, the fast actually started off great but then the last three hours I got a pretty bad headache, and it kind of drained all the energy out of me.

Today, I wanted to go right into Sukkos prep because it’s SO soon but on the other hand, my body is like, nope, we need to take a day and get ourselves situated. So I’m spending the day getting my menus organized, making shopping lists, and figuring out what I need to do so I can hit the ground running tomorrow.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share some Sukkos inspiration and some of the elements I’m using for my tables this year. I obviously don’t have everything yet. I don’t have my flowers, and it’s always hard to share the actual tables in real time because, well, it’s Yom Tov when the tables are set :). So I’ll also share last year’s setup for some extra inspo.

This Year’s Table

This year, I’m using these plaid tablecloths from Target. They’re a little more casual than I usually go for, but I think with the flowers, the fall vibe, and the sukkah being outdoors, it’ll work.

For the plates, I’m using these pumpkin spice gemstone plates from Yom Tov Settings:

Link with promo code here: Pumpkin Spice Gemstone Plates

And then I found these oven-to-table dishes at Target in this really fun red color. Such a cool fall vibe. I use a ton of oven-to-table dishes, so I was excited to find these. The cake pan comes with a cover, so you can bake the cake and then store it right in there:

Nonstick Aluminized Steel Cake Pan Set with Lid Red - Figmint

And this ruffle pie dish:

Stoneware Ruffle Pie Dish Red - Figmint

Last Year’s Tables

And because I can’t show you the finished version of this year’s table yet, here is last year’s setup :):

One little Sukkos tip that was SUCH a game changer for me last year: if you live somewhere cold, put a blanket on every chair.

Obviously, if you live in Florida or Texas, ignore me 😂. But here, I just got whatever little blankets I could find at Walmart. They were kind of funny, with random patterns, but it was such a nice touch and gave everybody a little extra warmth. I loved it. And on that note…

Cozy Chilli

I wanted to share one of my favorite traditional Sukkos recipes. The first night, I traditionally serve chili. It’s very cold in the sukkah here, and I feel like chili is such a good, yummy fall meal for that first night.

So here’s the recipe I use:

Mediterranean Chili with Basmati Rice

Chili:

1 lb. ground meat, lamb, chicken, or turkey
4–5 cloves garlic
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. pepper
6 oz. tomato paste
1–2 cups water
1 15-oz. can chickpeas
1 tbsp. cumin
1 tsp. coriander
1 tsp. turmeric
¼ tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1–2 tsp. sugar
1–3 tsp. cayenne pepper, depending on how spicy you like it (can omit)
Iceberg lettuce

Basmati rice:

2 cups basmati rice
3⅓ cups water
1 tbsp. oil
Pinch of salt

Bring the water to a boil. Add salt and oil, then add the rice. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes. Check the rice about four minutes before the 20 minutes are up to check for doneness.

Meanwhile, place the meat in a nonstick pan over medium heat. Add salt and pepper, then cook for five minutes. Add the garlic and spices and cook for two minutes. Add the chickpeas and stir them into the meat and spices. Add the tomato paste and water and simmer for 20 minutes.

Serve the chili over the rice with shredded iceberg lettuce on the side.

Okay, that’s my little Sukkos download for now :). I’ll share the finished tables when I actually have finished tables to share!

And in Totally Unexpected! land…

This week’s episode with Rabbi David Aaron is out! This is a perfect episode to listen to if you’re looking for a spiritual lift for the season. We get into Kabbalah, G-d, and we also get into his own story and background. I already got this message from a listener which I had to share:

Go listen and let me know what you think!

YouTube

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

🩷 Chavie

Rabbi David Aaron is a renowned educator, author, and Rosh Yeshiva of Orayta in the Old City of Jerusalem. He is the author of several influential books, including The Secret Life of God, Seeing God, Living a Joyous Life, and Soul Powered Prayers. His teachings focus on the deeper foundations of emunah, tefillah, and personal growth, making profound Torah ideas clear, practical, and deeply relevant.

This Week's Prompt
There is no prompt this episode and next due to the holidays but we will resume right after!

Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories and reflections on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 29:20 Night by Elie Weisel

• 23:30 Chavie’s grandfather, Dr. Yitzchok Block 

• 45:15 Rabbi Noah Weinberg, founder of Aish HaTorah

• 52:27 The Road Less Traveled by Dr. M. Scott Peck

• Further Along the Road Less Traveled by  Dr. M. Scott Peck

• 1:12:36 “The Pangs of Cleansing” by Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook 

Stay in touch with David Aaron

https://rabbidavidaaron.com/

https://www.instagram.com/davidaaron613

https://www.youtube.com/@RabbiDavidAaron

Stay in touch with Chavie
@chaviebruk on Instagram
www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on Youtube

This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Rabbi David Aaron’s beloved granddaughter, Nechalya, who tragically lost her life in a car accident while traveling as a passenger a few months ago.

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Hey guys. How was your Yom Tov? I want to hear it all.

It’s very rarely just one thing. Mine was quite beautiful. The services and the meals were amazing. Good energy, a full crowd, just awesome.

And then, you know, home life was harder. Kids were hard. We had some hard moments, let’s just say. And I feel like those hard moments are always amplified when it’s Rosh Hashanah and you’re like, what? I can’t believe this is happening on Rosh Hashanah.

But it does, and it’s okay. It’s just part of the package.

Leave a comment

Here are some photos of the tablescapes. I definitely had to pivot because the beautiful plates I ordered for the Friday night dinner didn’t come on time. That is a very common occurrence for me in Bozeman :). So I had to use backup plates, which was not my vision, and I had to wrap my brain around that. But it still was fine.

And today, I am worn out.

You know, the body keeps the score. I’m tired, I’m a little under the weather, and mostly my brain just isn’t working.

And I have a big Challah Bake event tomorrow.

I have a lot to do for it, and I haven’t really planned it out yet. I haven’t figured out what I want to do or the structure of it all, and I’m feeling a little stuck because my brain is refusing to participate.

So hopefully it’s all going to come together tomorrow. Praying for some miracles :).

It’s actually interesting because I don’t do Challah Bakes very often. It’s not a program that comes easily to me, so I always have to work up the motivation, the courage, and the capacity to do it. The last Challah Bake we did was for Chaya’s Bas Mitzvah five years ago.

My husband suggested doing one now, and at first I pushed back. I was like, no, I’m not doing it. It’s too much work. I can’t do it after Yom Tov.

Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is a really good time to do it, but also, after a busy Yom Tov, it’s really hard.

So I pushed back, and then as I sat with it, I was like, you know what? It’s a really good idea. We haven’t done one in a long time. It’s a beautiful time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I’m just going to do it.

Part of me is really, really happy that I’m doing it because I know it’s going to be great.

But the other part of me is like, I knew it. I knew I was going to be too tired and run down and not be able to muster the energy.

So, lots of truths happening at the same time.

But at the end of the day, it’s going to happen. And even if it’s not perfect, and I don’t have a perfect activity planned, and I don’t have the perfect structure, and I don’t have gourmet snacks, it’ll happen. It’ll be beautiful. We’ll socialize. A bunch of friends will be together.

What could be bad?

That’s the update. I’ll keep you posted on how it went :).

Also, if you haven’t listened to my last episode with Shevach Tamir yet, go listen! (See links below.) It was such an enjoyable conversation for me personally, with so many great insights into parenting, behavior, and even some of the latent trauma we carry around without realizing it. I really loved this one.

And a quick podcast heads-up: because Tishrei is Tishrei 😅, we are taking a little break from the listener prompts for the next two episodes, which means there won’t be a voice note outro for those episodes. Also, because of Yom Kippur, next week’s episode will come out on Tuesday instead of Monday. Other than that, everything is business as usual! Interviews will still come out, and Substack isn’t going anywhere :). We’ll get back to the prompts after the holidays.

Happy New Year and Gmar Chasima Tova to all my dear listners,

Chavie

Hiii I’m knee deep making menus, shopping lists, cooking, kids didn’t have school yesterday, baking challah, designing the tables for big community dinner Friday night and but I did have a moment to check out this class from YY Jacobson, which was a balm for the soul. I would highly encourage checking it out if you are feeling the same, and if you aren’t please teach me your ways: Healing Your Rosh Hashanah Desperation and Anxiety: The Haunting Story the Baal Shem Tov Told before Blowing Shofar

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Also, this week’s interview with Shevach Tamir was such an enjoyable episode for me personally. He shares really great insights into parenting, behavior, and unlocking latent trauma, and the conversation gave me a lot to think about. The prompt for this episode was about astrology, and we have quite a lineup of voice notes from people sharing the parts of their charts that feel the most accurate. It’s a must-listen, if I may say so myself.

I also want to take a moment to thank my dear readers, subscribers, podcast listeners, and the beautiful community we have on Instagram. Our connection is truly fuel for my creative, expressive soul, which desires so much to share with the world. Thank you for seeing me. I also hope that you feel seen by me and by the people whose stories are told on the podcast.

Wishing you and your family a sweet, happy new year. A year of inner peace and alignment, a year of abundance in all areas, materially and spiritually.

Love,

Chavie

Shevach Tamir LCSW, Parenting and Trauma Therapist, is a seasoned clinician with over a decade of experience supporting individuals, parents, and families within the Jewish community. He specializes in parenting therapy, family therapy, and trauma-informed care. Shevach is deeply committed to empowering parents, helping them feel confident, understood, and supported in their role, because parents matter too. His approach is warm, respectful, and grounded in a culturally sensitive, Torah-aligned perspective, creating a space where parents feel safe, seen, and supported as they navigate growth and healing.

This Week's Prompt
Tell Me One Thing You Feel Astrology Gets Right About Your Personality

Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories and reflections on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 2:29 Aura Rosenblatt' podcast Divine Detour

• 15:09 The Billion Dollar Secret, Rafael Badziag

Stay in touch with Shevach
@wiseparenting_official on Instagram 

www.onthebeachcounseling.com/parenting-therapy/

Book a Free 15 Minute Initial Consultation 

https://calendly.com/onthebeachcounseling/initial-consult

Join Wise Parenting Hub - WhatsApp Group 

Send an email with your name and number to Hello@WiseParentingMethod.com

Light of Shneur Initiative - Almost Free Parenting Therapy

Hello@BetterParentingTherapy.com

Stay in touch with Chavie
@chaviebruk on Instagram
www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Here’s the thing: if I’m having a rough time, I’m not going to be able to write about something random or stay surface-level. I really wish I could, because I don’t always want to share. I want to crawl into a hole and stay there until the storm passes. Unfortunately, in my situation, the storm ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Today is a writing day, so here I am, having a rough time. I’m confused, overwhelmed, and defeated. I don’t know how to organize my thoughts; I have so many brainwaves tumbling through my mind. What do I share? How do I share? I don’t want to sound like I’m a disaster and asking for negative attention, but all I can do is show up in the moment to what’s authentically true for me right now. I believe what comes from the heart enters the heart, so I trust that my words will be received with the intention with which I share them. I really hope the place that I’m in won’t last for too long, but it will be what it will be.

So, here’s what’s up, without all the details:

This summer really took a toll on me. Every summer does, and I try to prepare for it as much as I can, but so much of it is out of my hands. For many reasons, this summer in particular took it to the next level, and the day before school started, I finally cracked. I kept it together the whole time, and you’d think I could hold on for one more day, but what I realize is, I’m in so deep that even after they start school, I’m not going to suddenly be ok! I have a lot of emotions, and dare I say some trauma, stored in my body from the recent reality. I have learned and implemented many tools over the years, but these last few months, plus the stage of life my family is in right now, are really humbling.

What makes this feel more loaded and difficult is that we are in the month of Elul, when “the King is in the field.” Show up as you are, Hashem is inside of you, ask for what you want, surrender and accept. I’ve been listening and learning to so many beautiful voices on this subject, and I hear it, and it sounds right, it’s aligned.

Yet today, I broke down crying to my husband with so much pain, telling him that I don’t even know what any of this means. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I have spent so much time surrendering and accepting with love the life I have before me, and now I’m supposed to know how to ask for what I want and need. Intellectually, I know both these concepts work together, but practically, I’m stuck. I’ve spent so much time being a warrior, crushing each challenge that comes my way with a good attitude, for the most part, mind you. And now, when it all feels too much, I feel like I don’t have the skills to be not ok, to demand more.

So, my husband turns to me in my meltdown, and he says, “Do this. Cry to Hashem. This is what it looks like.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m doing it to you, not Hashem….”

I don’t have any answers. This day doesn’t end with a resolution. Just me sharing my pain and my challenge. Many of you might read this and be like, what’s the big deal? Just talk to Hashem. And trust me, I agree, it’s just proving to be not that simple for me.

They say the challenges you experience in Elul shine a direct light on where your work is meant to be focused and what your next steps in life should be all about. Well, I guess when all else fails, at least I know that 🤷‍♀️🤣.

I did force myself out the door and got myself into nature, which always regulates me. I didn’t come home a new person, and all the challenges are still right where I left them, but it did make me pause, and it gave me a break from all the intensity. I will always be grateful for having Hashem’s beautiful world at my fingertips.

When this essay is published, you might find me hiding under my covers with a bit of a vulnerability hangover 🙊.

🩷 Chavie

P.S. I don’t feel comfortable sharing this on Instagram, but with my intimate Substack friends, I’ll share this post that puts words to so many of my experiences.

If you missed the last episode on the pod, it was an epic conversation with Naomi Salfati - @AstroTorah on Instagram. Highly recommend checking out this deep dive into everything astrology, including a live reading of my chart.

Quick housekeeping note: When I started this Substack almost two years ago (!!!), I rotated between new essays and reposts from my original blog, Clear as Mud. It helped me bring the archive over here and gave me a little writing buffer, because writing an original essay every other week is already quite the task, lemme tell ya.

At this point, I’ve shared most of that archive, so the off weeks are slowly becoming more of a way for me to communicate with you directly: quick updates, pressing happenings in my life that I MUST tell you about, and news and updates in Totally Unexpected! land. I’ll still sprinkle in archived posts when the timing feels right, like today’s repost of Chaya’s Bas Mitzvah, since we just celebrated her birthday last week, but mostly it will become more of a community corner / random musings hybrid space.

As always, please share your thoughts with me, either in the dm’s or as a comment on the post, and creating a discussion with other readers.

Okay, that’s all I think!! Now for the long-awaited repost of Chaya’s legendary Bas-Mitzvah Challah Bake.

There are so many things I want this post to be, so I’m going to try to fit it all in, and hopefully, it works 🙂.

I want to start off by saying what a big milestone this is for Chaya, me, and my husband.

Even though Chaya is our first child, we have a wonderful and gorgeous, inside and out, older seventeen-year-old daughter, Shoshana. Being that we adopted her after she turned twelve, we didn’t have the privilege of celebrating her Bas Mitzvah as a family. Chaya is our first child, not the oldest, so it makes for a unique family where the oldest isn’t the first and the first isn’t the oldest.

I remember it like it was yesterday, waiting in a parking lot a few blocks away from the adoption agency, waiting to get that phone call that would finally make us parents. That feeling is not something you can put into words. So now, twelve years later, looking at this sweet, funny, sensitive, complicated human takes me right back to that moment. Anyway, enough of the mushy stuff. Let’s get down to the deets of the actual party.

About six months ago, we asked Chaya if she had any ideas or thoughts on how she wanted to celebrate her Bas Mitzvah. Of course, she had quite a lot of opinions 🙂. One thing she was very sure about was that she wanted it to be an event exclusively for women and girls. After exploring different ideas and options, we landed on a Challah Bake. I was supposed to do a community Challah Bake right when COVID-19 started, and that, obviously, didn’t happen, so it felt like the perfect opportunity to make Chaya’s special day also Bozeman’s first community Challah Bake, which we called Chaya’s Challah Bake.

I think it’s important that I address the realities of putting on a big event, especially when you live in a small town with no access to a caterer, where all the Challah Bake prep, all the décor and room prep, and all the food was on me. It is hard! The other very significant thing was that our family, and my son, were not (and still are not :)) in a great space. We were at the end of a challenging summer; kids were home, with camp being over and school still three weeks out. It didn’t allow me to prep and be organized in the way that I usually am. Which basically meant that all the prep for the Bas Mitzvah took place the day of the celebration. It was a huge miracle! And I am so grateful for my family and amazing friend Chevee, who flew in to celebrate with us and basically helped make it happen in a big way.

If a Challah Bake is something you want to do, I’m going to share with you where I got some of the paraphernalia. I will also share with you the actual schedule and flow of the event:

Aprons (mine were custom) and placemats — Shluchim Services

Boxes I put all the ingredients in — BRP Box Shop

Bowls/wooden spoons/measuring cups — Webstaurant

Recipe card/sticker on the box — local printer

For food, I wanted to do something I had not done before so Chaya would feel special. I also wanted something that would be the perfect complement to a Challah Bake, not a sit-down dinner, yet still yummy and fun. I landed on a charcuterie table, dairy version. I know charcuterie means meat, but I don’t know how else to describe it :). So, I had this vision, and I just had to figure out how to execute it. I ordered fancy cheeses from PrimeNosh, who went above and beyond to get them here in time, though the original boxes of food didn’t show up. I, of course, browsed Pinterest to get ideas on how it’s done. I incorporated some yummy green salads and my favorite quinoa recipe from Between Carpools. It has roasted veggies and feta cheese, and it’s sooo good! Thank G-d, it turned out beautifully, and I was very happy with the results.

As for the event itself, here is how it went down:

Guests arrived. We gave about 15/20 minutes for people to settle in and find a place to sit.

I welcomed everyone and introduced Chaya, who then gave her Bas Mitzvah speech and did a fabulous job.

My mother said a few words.

I then spoke a little bit about the beauty of Challah and got the Challah Bake going. I wanted to lead with the speeches right at the beginning while everyone could still focus 🙂. The rest of the evening was left for socializing and enjoying the Challah-making process.

We made the Challah dough together. It was a lot of fun. While we left the Challah dough to rise, we opened the food tables, and we ate, socialized, and partied for about a half hour.

We then went back to the Challah and shaped it; I gave round pans, as we were very close to Rosh Hashanah.

Everyone went home with two nice-sized Challahs to bake at home. The aprons and placemats were take-home gifts as well.

I asked everyone to send me pics of the finished product! It was so fun to get those images!

It was a beautiful, memorable evening.

Thank you, Hashem!

Love,

Chavie

P.S. From current day Chavie: This week’s episode on the podcast is a must listen. I know I say that every episode but seariously, I can’t tell you how excited I am that I got to interview Naomi Salfati (AstroTorah on Instagram), and got to deep dive with her on everything astrology related, including a live reading of my chart, on my birthday!!!!. These are the moments that make me feel like I can’t believe that I actually get to do this. Please listen and let me know what you think. And don’t forget the prompt at the end, where listeners sent their voice notes on: Tell me about something you are scared to do and what’s holding you back.

Naomi Salfati is a Hebrew letter artist and the founder of AstroTorah, where she bridges Kabbalah, astrology, and psychology to help people better understand themselves and their life's purpose.

This Week's Prompt
Tell me about something you’re scared to do and what’s holding you back?

Listen to voice notes from listeners at the end of every episode with their personal stories on a given prompt.

Referenced On the Pod

• 11:42:00 Mendel Zirkind’s interview with Chavie

• 1:18:35 find your chart on Astro.com

Stay in touch with Naomi!
instagram.com/astrotorahwww.astrotorah.com
Book a reading with Naomi here:
https://astro-torah.as.me/schedule/56d76640

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagram
www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

Today is the last day of our trip (by the time you read this hopefully we are home safe and sound).

Last days are hard, anticipation and anxiety for the long trip ahead. Reality of what’s waiting for us back at home starts to creep in. The pressure of wanting to make the most out of your day and of course the kids know just when to push all your buttons 😏.

I do want to give you a bit of a recap of this last week in Budapest and I also have something else I want to share at the end.

Sharing about Budapest is not so straightforward; this week had amazing moments and some challenging ones. Of course like any trip this one had some challenges, but I’m referring to challenges specific to our location. Budapest is a huge bustling city. It was extremely hot (like the rest of Europe) and it wasn’t quite as clean as Austria :). But spending almost a week walking the streets and getting to know the city has 100% crept into my heart. One of the many reasons why I like to stay in one location for a significant amount of time is because If I only came for one day, I’m not sure I would’ve connected at all. One of my favorite parts of this week was all the walking we did, really getting to know the streets (average of 15,000 steps a day). By the end, the kids knew their way around and I thought that was so cool.

We did some typical tourist type things like:

• Boat cruise on the Danube

• Central Market Hall

• Fisherman’s Bastion

• The Funicular to Buda Castle

• The Citadela

• The Ferris Wheel

• The Shoes on the Danube (very meaningful)

• A few beautiful Synagogues

And we also did some things not on the travel lists:

• Margit Island

• Boating and swimming on Lake Balaton

• Best petting zoo/ farm

• Ice cream everyday (big highlight :))

• Duna-Ipoly Nemzeti Park

• Soccer stadium tour

• Playing in parks

It was a fantastic week! And I’m ready for school to start :) but we still gotta another 2 weeks 🤦‍♀️.

Ok so now for the other thing I want to talk about :)

Today as we wrap up our trip, my sister, Brocha, my brother-in-law, Mendel, and nephew, Lenny, have wrapped up their year with us and are on their way to California. It has been incredible for me to have my sister around the corner. I’m attached to my nephew, I was his Tante-bubby :) and I’m not sure how I’m going to deal not having him in my house every Shabbos.

It was a really special year and I thank Hashem every day for the opportunity and experience. I am very sad that they are leaving and for the most part I have been pretending it’s not happening, ya know healthy avoidance. But I can avoid it no longer, and I will have to face my feelings. This was always only meant to be a one year thing and even though you know it’s going to happen, it doesn’t make it feel any better when it does.

Thank you Brocha and Mendel for living and working alongside us for a year. It will be something I cherish forever!

🩷 Chavie

P.S. If you haven’t already check out my conversation with Dena Schusterman last week about her brand new book, Stories Carry!

Hi from Europe!!

We are wrapping up an amazing week in Austria and gearing up for our second week of our trip in Hungary. Today was Chana Laya’s birthday and we decided the activity should be really kid friendly and less exploring :).

Chaim Shaul found a water park about an hour away from Vienna right over the Czech Republic border. Not a word of English spoken by anyone, the only Americans for sure on location, and it was a blast. I think it’s very cool to mix up your trip with touristy stuff and some random off the beaten path local experiences.

The water park was called Aqualand Moravia and I was really impressed! Very efficient, very clean, and the kids had no problem navigating it at all!

When Chaim Shaul and I “plan” these trips we actually plan very little. We book an Airbnb and that’s pretty much it. We get to our location, get the lay of the land, work with the vibe of the kids and go from there. Does that mean we miss out on some stuff? Absolutely! But the trade off is worth it. We aren’t pressured (we as in me IYKYK) and that’s a very big point of our travel. There is always a moment of overwhelm when you see all the stuff there is to do and you know you can’t do it all and how do you choose? You take it one day at a time. Being present and fully enjoying the moment that you’re in, always works. And no matter what, you are going to miss stuff, so knowing that that’s inevitable takes the pressure off.

I am so grateful for the things we got to do in Austria; it’s an incredible country! There was a lot more I wanted to do in the Austrian Alps so I hope I get to come back one day! For more details follow me on Instagram, where I share a short daily recap.

Excited for our week in Hungary!

You know I’ll keep you posted!

If you didn’t listen yet, make sure you catch my interview with Dena Schusterman that came out yesterday on the pod.

🩷 Chavie

Dena Schusterman founded Chabad Intown in Atlanta, where she has built a thriving community as an educator, preschool director, and teacher. She writes about parenting and applied Torah thought for publications including Kveller, Chabad.org, Groknation, Ami Magazine and the Atlanta Jewish Times. A mother of eight and native Californian, she and her husband Rabbi Eliyahu Schusterman have called Atlanta home for twenty years. Stories Carry is her debut memoir.

This Week's Prompt
Tell me about a religious practice that you realized was driven by fear or anxiety?

Listen to voice notes from listeners with their personal stories and reactions on a given prompt at the end of every episode.

Referenced On the Pod

• 1:07:32 Rabbi YY Jacobson’s Weekly Women’s Class 

• 1:10:40 Dena’s ELI Talk 

• 1:14:09 Chabad.org article about Dena’s father

• 1:38:26 The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese

• 2:00:32 Paulo Coelho

Stay in touch with Dena!
https://www.denaschusterman.com/

Stay in touch with Chavie!
@chaviebruk on Instagram
www.totallyunexpected.blog
Totally Unexpected! on Youtube

Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.

I knew that we would make it in the end, but it was a push, that’s for sure. I am now sitting (for the first time in days) on the first of three flights for our summer family adventure. (Although the kids are getting older, and we are down to three on this trip.)

Summer is an intense time for me, my family, and our Shlichus, and this year felt even more intense. Camps didn’t work out as planned, so there was lots of togetherness at home with very little structure. Enough said….

Another component to all of this is how busy and intense the tourist season has become. We love the opportunity to provide delicious food and a warm and loving environment for the many, many people who pass through Bozeman in the summer. I take a lot of pride in the way in which we host, not taking any shortcuts, and taking care of people in the way I would want to be taken care of.

We have been in Bozeman for nineteen years, ka”h, and it’s hard to keep up sometimes. Chaim Shaul and I have been discussing that it’s ok for things to change and evolve as stages in our life change. We don’t have to do the same thing, in the same way, forever. Until now, all the cooking and organizing of these Shabbosim has been me. I’m definitely ready for some adjustments. Change is scary and can be unsettling, especially when you don’t know exactly how and what is changing, but I really think it’s also an opportunity for expansion. It’s hard to let go of something you’ve been invested in for so long. It almost becomes part of your identity, but that’s also how you know it might be time :). Don’t worry, Bozeman Chabad will always host travelers with the class and standard we hold dear, but maybe it doesn’t have to be all on me, all the time.

This inner dialogue has been front and center lately, and I find it to be very serendipitous that while in this mode, I got to read Dena Shusterman’s memoir, Stories Carry. This book is a true masterpiece, and I don’t say this lightly. Dena sets out on a journey to tell her father’s story, and what happens through telling his story is that she’s really sharing her own story right alongside it. I have not read a book in the Orthodox Jewish world that is (A) so beautifully written by all standards, and (B) actually tells us the real story.

Not only the good parts, not only the impressive parts, and not only the parts that are comfortable and safe. We get to hear the painful parts, the doubts, the questions, the uncertainty that all of us feel but very few have the courage to share. Dena’s story really impacted me, as we both grew up on Shlichus and are ourselves on Shlichus, and I can relate to and understand so many of the emotions and complexities that come along with this particular life’s mission. Shlichus is a privilege, and it’s something we get to do! Some people would like it to be that black and white. Some people like to say there are no struggles and gloss over the real day-to-day hardships. Not me and not Dena :)

What this book does is hold all the truths. We aren’t satisfied anymore with surface level. This generation asks of us to be real, to be honest. No sugarcoating. I found myself feeling so held, understood, and seen throughout my reading experience. Trust me, you do not have to be on Shlichus to appreciate this book. You will come to love and know all the characters. You will be taken back a few generations, and you will be brought back to present day. You will relate to the complexities of life and the long-term impact choices have on us. You will be drawn in by the beautiful writing. You will feel like you are there, and you will be left with the lasting impact that all of these stories carry.

I really hope you read this book; you can preorder now! Get your hands on it soon because I am honored to have had Dena on Totally Unexpected! for her very first podcast conversation about the book, and it’s fantastic. It will be airing very soon, and you don’t want to miss it, so keep your eyes peeled.

Bringing this back to where I started… I am very much looking forward to this trip. I get a lot of enjoyment out of travel. This isn’t something new you’re hearing from me. I have talked about all the benefits of traveling with my family many times. A little extra excited this year.

I will definitely share with you along the way. Check back here on Substack next week, and I am pretty sure I’ll share some on Instagram as well.

Chavie

Sooo we just released the 50th episode of Totally Unexpected! and I am kvelling. Yes, I get to use that word for this occasion ;).

For this milestone episode, my guest was therapist, coach, and host of Tribe & Tribulations, Julia Makowsky. I’ve always loved her energy and the fresh points of view she shares on Instagram, and she did not disappoint, lemme tell ya. We talked about her life story, how she became a therapist, the difference between coaching and therapy, and how her own personal observance has evolved over the years. It’s a deeply personal and honest conversation that I learned so much from.

Buttt the big surprise comes at the end of the episode.

Remember when I asked you a couple of weeks ago which previous guests you’d want to hear from in the voice note section of the podcast? Well, you answered, and we went and asked those guests what they’re up to since their interview on the pod, and if they had any thoughts or reflections looking back on their conversation.

Hearing from them again felt like such a beautiful way to celebrate this milestone episode. Fifty episodes means fifty conversations, fifty stories, fifty unexpected moments, and so many people who have trusted me with pieces of their lives. I don’t take that lightly.

So go and listen, especially to the end, and then tell me what you think!

Thank you so much for being on this journey with me. I can’t wait to share the next 50 incredible stories on Totally Unexpected!

Love,

Chavie